Zipp™ contains highly delicious additives which stim-u-late your drinking experience and send your mind and taste buds rocketing through the roof! Your parents or landlord will need to hire a live-in contractor to do repairs for all of the roof holes you'll make after every sip! Zipp™ is that sicko nasty green gack that you can actually be proud to drink! Zipp's cracked-out research team has created a legendary formula that's super-richin flavor! Zipp™ is the future of the modern American beverage! Bust into a Zipp™ right this second or it'll be too late!